the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
