Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
