If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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