just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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