please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so let's talk penis.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
