If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I understand Curling. That high.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
