Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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