He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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