my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
