Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
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He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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