In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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