No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
