I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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