I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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