Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
