and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
