Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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