I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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