some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
