Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
