and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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