Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
