I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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