Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
only if we run a train.
done.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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