I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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