I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize