We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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