Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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