I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunk is a universal language darling
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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