if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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