I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
