i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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