So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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