Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
