why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
