How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Please don't give away my fajitas
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
