pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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