She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
