Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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