Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
