He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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