yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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