I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
