you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
