the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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