Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
