Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
