Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
