but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
