My brain says no but my pants say off.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
