Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
