Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
