Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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