I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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