The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize