I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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