just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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