u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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