So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
