Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
