We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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