i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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