So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
