that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
