I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
