then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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