I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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