sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.