I want to stick my p in your. b.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.