Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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(913): View more from Kansas

girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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(914): View more from New York

He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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(619): View more from California

surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

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(770): View more from Georgia

All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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(925): View more from California

I cannot believe I said bareback movement...

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(317): View more from Indiana

Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.

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(619): View more from California

I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.

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