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Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
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