her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.