Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back